Shift for 2013 :D

"Magkaro'n ka rin kasi ng konting lambing man lang d'yan sa katawan mo.. Kahit once a year man lang."

Yes I know, it was indeed my fault. Hindi kasi ako yung tipo ng taong showy sa feelings or masyadong ma-gratitude especially when it comes to my relatives. They know me as the most quiet in our family. Di ko lang naman kasi trip na makipagkwentuhan with them. Usually naman kasi ng itatanong nila sa'kin is about my life..particularly LOVE LIFE. As much as possible, hindi naman sa tinatago ko sa kanila but I think it's not yet the right time for me to tell them since ayaw din naman nila 'ko magkaboyfriend pa and maraming mata na nakasubaybay sa'kin. Sometimes, nasasabi ko na lang din sa sarili ko na alam ko na yung reasons ng teens today kung bakit mas gusto pa nila kasama ang friends nila kesa ang family nila. Pa'no naman kasi, to be honest, nakakasakal na din kasi sila kung minsan. May times din na they want to keep in touch with me pero ewan ko.. di ko lang talaga feel kapag andyan sila for me. I know na sila lang ang maaasahan ko once na magkaproblem ako na di ko maaasahan (siguro) ang friends ko pero sa ngayon ayoko lang talaga. I'm starting to have problems with them and I'm sorry for that. :(

This 2013, I hope na maging maganda na ang pakikisama ko sa relatives ko particularly with my Uncles & Aunties sa Father side. I grew up with my relatives on my Mother side and di naman ibig sabihin nun na kinalimutan ko na ang kalahating parte ng buhay ko. Walang mas matimbang sa kanila, pareho ko lang silang mahal. Ang akin lang naman, sana minsan maintindihan nila that teens want some space and break from people like them. Parang di kasi ako makahinga ng maayos kapag nandyan sila (not literally). 

Bigger Goals. Higher Hopes. Changed Perspectives. Welcome, 2013! :)

Miss Interrogator breaks a heart

  Sorry for disturbing you guys at 1:13am but I think I'm gonna burst out into pieces if I fight the urge to spill this out on my blog. Catchy title, e? Well that's me. Yeah I may seem so proud about it but the first two words just defines who I really am. 

I didn't mean to be harsh around guys nor did I ever wanted to scare them away. This December, I finally concluded to myself that, "Yes, I am a certified interrogator." I don't know what's with my questions that make the guys go parry with me. Am I that a serious talker that makes them think I'm too much to handle? I first encountered this situation by my friend's suitor. I just asked him a few questions through text and in a short while I got a forwarded text from my friend saying that I'm such an interrogator. The next one I encountered was with my former classmate back when I was a Freshman. I asked him about the girl he likes and then as our conversation goes on and on, he told me that I'm like a grandma! Wth is wrong with these guys. I'm just asking dudes. :| The last one was from the guy who's courting my bestfriend. He said, "She's scary.." And I was like, "DO I LOOK LIKE A MONSTER?!"

Boys. Boys. Boys. When will I ever understand them? They also say that girls are hard to understand but all I can say is.. "So are they." Right at this moment, I'm chatting with Toby and to be honest he just made my tears fall once again. :( I just don't understand why he's only replying to me with this '-_-' emoticon. I don't even know what's going inside his mind. I really do want to know if he's still mad at me. The story started last Christmas Eve when I told him that I'm in my Uncle's house to celebrate Christmas. He asked me why didn't I invite him for him to be able to meet my family. Unfortunately that's the reason why he got mad. And right now as I'm chatting with him, he said that he's not mad. But I still feel it. I don't know but I have vibes. :( Please Toby, just tell me the truth. </3

I miss him..so much. :( </3 I hope everything will turn out fine again. I didn't mean to be rude to him because I was just purely joking when I replied to his text. I thought he'd take it as a joke. I'm so sorry Toby, please forgive me. :(

PS: Christmas happenings are all posted on my Facebook acct. that's why I didn't manage to put the pictures in my blog. :)

All About Him.. ♥

          I've been dying to have a post about this guy. I wanted to put his picture here on my blog but I guess it would just cause certain issues since some people who are following me here knows him. Let's just call him, "Giant". I prefer that codename since his voice is so deep. =)) Ok, I already spilled it out. For those who really knows me, they know who this guy is! :P He was my schoolmate ever since my Freshman years. I get to know him through Facebook & YM. :) We used to chat and I could say that we're somehow..good friends. He was Kate & Kateri's classmate back when they were just Freshmen. He became my crush when I personally met him when I became their student teacher in Science. I get to know him even better during our Sophomore year. Things passed great to us and the time came when he asked me if he could court me. Of course I accepted it since I already had a crush on him! :3 And besides, it's somehow a dream come true to a girl like me who's just having a crush on someone yet that someone started liking you back! He's such a gentleman, I could say. He would offer to accompany me home and he would always say, "Ingat!" while flashing his cute smile. :"> He's taller than me..I think I'm just on his shoulder level. K! :P He's the concerned type of suitor. He doesn't want me to pass out on food and he'd always check on me. I appreciated all the efforts he did but sadly, every hello ends with a bittersweet goodbye. The day that I was about to say yes to him was also the day I saw him courting another girl. He's just a sweet jackass! That girl happened to be older than us since she's a Junior that time. I just couldn't bare in my mind if what he did to me was all a lie. We tried to fix that conflict. He said that they were just friends and knowing him sweet to all other girls, I forgave him. He continued courting me until one day again, I saw him change his relationship status on Facebook. He even called the girl by our call sign YAM. What hurts most is that the number was very significant to me. 21. I loved this number ever since I met him. Another problem happened and by that time, we weren't able to fix it. I just don't want him to hurt me again so I distanced myself. This story was 21 months ago. See? Until now! It's still him. And I think, it would always be him. :(

          As Seniors, we're now more matured of what's happening around us. Stories begin popping like mushrooms again about how he still feels for me and how I still feel for him. If I'm to be asked, no doubt that I still like him. Maybe I just had my attention to another guy but it doesn't mean that what happened between us was just nothing. I already got news that I was his first love. Well, that sounds good to me and it made me feel important to his life. :) I'm not just certain if I should entertain him again or welcome him again in my life. Maybe now's not the right time yet but I know that God will make a way for the both of us. Still hoping that one day..he might be the guy for me. 

I finally realized that it really isn't the same without him. :) My friends really know me. They always say that I'd be coming back to him and yet it's happening at the moment.

Last Christmas Party in QCA :(

          This Wednesday, we celebrated our Christmas Party. It was really fun and tiring even though we didn't do many activities just like what we did last three years ago. I can still clearly remember what I wore on our Christmas Party when I was just a Freshman. Jeez. I wore blue skinny jeans matching my pink hoodie top with a black & white sando inside it. Yeah. I really don't have a fashion statement. I always stay with my comfort zone because I'm too ashamed to go beyond my limits. I always think that those dresses the pretty girls wear aren't really for someone like me because I'm born as a boyish kinda girl that's why I really don't prefer wearing dresses, mini skirts or anything girly. Besides it's really not comfortable for me since I'm used to sitting carelessly..Well if you know what I mean. ;) Haha. So yeah, things went so great! :) I came to school at 12:11nn and I was surprised to see that there are only sophomores inside. I came across them and I hurriedly went to our room but it's still locked. Goodness! I'm very punctual. :)) I went downstairs again and I sat beside a sophomore from section Isaias. Good thing she has the same adviser that I had back when I was just like her. Mr. Ruben Yuzon Agustin Jr. The so-called "Tatay" of Ageo '10-'11. I miss him so much! >:D< He's one of the best advisers I ever had ever since I started schooling. 

^ This! Hi, Tatay! :D Haha. Sorry if I didn't ask for permission in getting your cover photo in Facebook! XD Loveyouu! ♥

          Moving on, around five minutes later, one of my classmates appeared. Angie Lyne Capopez! :D She's the salutatorian as the Most Punctual on that day. Kidding aside, she sat beside me and then we eagerly waited for Mary Ann. While we're chatting, Mamsy came out of nowhere and told us that she'd be going to SM to buy her Monita a gift. She also told us to get the keys of our room on her table in the Faculty room. Then came Vergel and I told them (Vergel & Angie) to get the keys of our room on Mamsy's table and I'll just wait for Mary Ann. To make the story short, we got inside the room and then we prepared for the happenings.

          Many things happened after that and we were complete at around 1:30pm. We started eating then had our exchange gifts and we played the Amazing Race. =)) 'Twas really fun 'coz I wasn't a part of it. I'm Clue No. 1! Yeaaah. No need for me to waste my energy. \m/ 

Here are some of the gifts that had been given to me:

This was my gift from Katleen! :) She was the one who picked me in our exchange gift.

This one was from my Babyboo, Mary Ann. :) I'll put this on my phone! :D

Whenever I look at this, I remember the game Plants Vs. Zombies. I really don't know why but it has some resemblance. Haha. :)) This bracelet was from Karl. :) My ultimate boy bestbud! :>

This colorful yet meaningful bracelet came from my Besh, Kate. :) Lalalove this! ♥

This is actually a mirror. I just didn't open it since it will only reflect the camera's flash. :P Came from our EIC in ECHO and my Crunchie, Denise. :3

This zesty perfume got me hooked up with its smell! ♥ This came from my Heartii, Kateri. :)

I also had a gift from our service, Tita Josie. It's a towel! Salmon pink. ♥

                    So much with the gifts, I still have some here in our house but I don't want to expose everything here on my blog. Haha. :D So I'll just post my picture wearing my Christmas Party attire. :)

This was my outfit on our Christmas Party. The light pink cardigan was bought in Cinderella worth Php400 from its original Php800 price. The white sando underneath the cardigan was bought in Jellybean and it's worth Php200 from its original Php350-400 price I think? Haha. The light yellow skirt was also from Jellybean worth Php300 from its original Php500 price! My doll shoes was bought in Circle C, tiangge parts. =)) Its original price was Php280 but we got it at Php260! :) Then my snake choker was originally Php120 but I got it at Php100. Talking about sale huh? Haha! For my outfit, I wasted Php1260. But it's worth it dude. I never felt as girly as ever. I can only do this once a year. =))

          Actually, I still have loads of stories to tell but I'll just blog it later when I wake up. It's 2:02am and I'm still wide awake while everyone here in the house is snoring their butts off. Haha. Goodmorning everyone! It's 12/21/12. Whatcha say? I'm still blogging! :P

Some things are better left unsaid..

Last week was such a roller coaster ride for me. Not talking with my friends, keeping silent for so many days, not even knowing what's going on. I was really bombarded with too many stress and issues with my life. I even affected the people who's not even involved with some personal matters. As a teen, I also undergo changes in which I don't have control. I had a problem with myself, the people around me, and everything that in the end wasn't really a problem at all. Maybe I just exaggerated things that shouldn't be a cause of drama.

To be honest, what I did wasn't really a plan. My friends know me as a jolly and cheerful girl but hey, what was that? What just happened? I slowly drifted apart. All I know is, I wanted space. Parang bigla na lang akong hindi makahinga. People around me kept on asking, "Ano bang problema?" "Bakit ang tahimik mo?" "Nakakapanibago ka. Ang tahimik mo na, 'di ka pa namamansin." I know, I was really not with myself last week. Maski ako, naiinis din ako sa sarili ko kung bakit ako nagkaganun. I pushed people away of my system. Basta narealize ko lang na ginusto kong mapag-isa. Parang gusto kong kilalanin ang sarili ko because I felt that I was too attached with people that I came to a point that I don't even know who I really am. I know it's confusing but that's how I really felt. Para akong na-left alone. The girl whom I used to treat as my bestfriend? I don't know what happened. We barely talk about things and all she blabbers about is her suitor who's now giving her up. Hay naku. Ayoko na lang talaga magsalita about things. Isa ko pang naging problem is about my family, most especially my Uncle. Yung tipong, pinadalhan ka nga niya ng gadgets and money as Christmas gifts pero isinusumbat niya? Sana di ba, di na lang siya nagpadala? Ganyan naman sya noon pa. Pwes, kung kay Mama nagawa niya yan, saken hindi! Di ako padadaig sa mga pinagsasabi niya. And in all fairness naman, hindi dahil sa kanya kaya ako nakakapag-aral pa rin ngayon. Makatapos lang ako, ipapamukha ko sa kanilang hindi ko kailangan ng tulong nila. I can feed myself. I can support my needs. :|

That's actually the main reasons kung bakit ako nanahimik. Simple things. I know I can tell them to my friends, pero bakit di ko sinabi? Simple lang.. Ayoko kasing mandamay. Alam ko may mga problema din sila. And I don't want to cause them any burden. That's why I intended to just shut up. I didn't know that it would cause them pain. I really didn't mean to.

These girls? Sila yun. Yung nainis sa'kin, nalungkot kasi bigla na lang ako nawala. Di ko sila kinakausap, di ako namamansin. Oo alam ko lahat talaga yun kasalanan ko. Silent treatment. =)) Pero klinaro ko yun sa kanila na hindi sila ang problema ko. Never kong magiging problema yang mga yan. Sobrang na-touch pa ko kasi talagang nag-effort sila alamin yung problema ko. Kahit mahirap ako intindihin, di nila ako sinukuan. Nakakatouch lang dba? Imagine having friends like them. Sobrang jackpot ka na. Pero sorry, nasaken na sila e. :"> Haha! :)) Sa Christmas Party, ihhug ko ng bongga yang dalawang yan. ♥ Super salamat Kate & Kateri. Mabasa niyo man 'to o hindi, alam ko God will make a way para malaman niyo 'tong kadramahan ko. Sorry kung pinainis ko man kayo or pinalungkot, ganito talaga ako e. Lokaret. Sala sa init, sala sa lamig. Di ko talaga ineexpect na in the end, kayo pa talaga yung mananatiling nandyan para sakin. Mahal ko kayo, sagad-sagad. >:D< :*

"Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest. It's about who came and NEVER left your side."

^ This is the best way for me to cope with my problems. Let go and let God. O:)