Some things are better left unsaid..

Last week was such a roller coaster ride for me. Not talking with my friends, keeping silent for so many days, not even knowing what's going on. I was really bombarded with too many stress and issues with my life. I even affected the people who's not even involved with some personal matters. As a teen, I also undergo changes in which I don't have control. I had a problem with myself, the people around me, and everything that in the end wasn't really a problem at all. Maybe I just exaggerated things that shouldn't be a cause of drama.

To be honest, what I did wasn't really a plan. My friends know me as a jolly and cheerful girl but hey, what was that? What just happened? I slowly drifted apart. All I know is, I wanted space. Parang bigla na lang akong hindi makahinga. People around me kept on asking, "Ano bang problema?" "Bakit ang tahimik mo?" "Nakakapanibago ka. Ang tahimik mo na, 'di ka pa namamansin." I know, I was really not with myself last week. Maski ako, naiinis din ako sa sarili ko kung bakit ako nagkaganun. I pushed people away of my system. Basta narealize ko lang na ginusto kong mapag-isa. Parang gusto kong kilalanin ang sarili ko because I felt that I was too attached with people that I came to a point that I don't even know who I really am. I know it's confusing but that's how I really felt. Para akong na-left alone. The girl whom I used to treat as my bestfriend? I don't know what happened. We barely talk about things and all she blabbers about is her suitor who's now giving her up. Hay naku. Ayoko na lang talaga magsalita about things. Isa ko pang naging problem is about my family, most especially my Uncle. Yung tipong, pinadalhan ka nga niya ng gadgets and money as Christmas gifts pero isinusumbat niya? Sana di ba, di na lang siya nagpadala? Ganyan naman sya noon pa. Pwes, kung kay Mama nagawa niya yan, saken hindi! Di ako padadaig sa mga pinagsasabi niya. And in all fairness naman, hindi dahil sa kanya kaya ako nakakapag-aral pa rin ngayon. Makatapos lang ako, ipapamukha ko sa kanilang hindi ko kailangan ng tulong nila. I can feed myself. I can support my needs. :|

That's actually the main reasons kung bakit ako nanahimik. Simple things. I know I can tell them to my friends, pero bakit di ko sinabi? Simple lang.. Ayoko kasing mandamay. Alam ko may mga problema din sila. And I don't want to cause them any burden. That's why I intended to just shut up. I didn't know that it would cause them pain. I really didn't mean to.

These girls? Sila yun. Yung nainis sa'kin, nalungkot kasi bigla na lang ako nawala. Di ko sila kinakausap, di ako namamansin. Oo alam ko lahat talaga yun kasalanan ko. Silent treatment. =)) Pero klinaro ko yun sa kanila na hindi sila ang problema ko. Never kong magiging problema yang mga yan. Sobrang na-touch pa ko kasi talagang nag-effort sila alamin yung problema ko. Kahit mahirap ako intindihin, di nila ako sinukuan. Nakakatouch lang dba? Imagine having friends like them. Sobrang jackpot ka na. Pero sorry, nasaken na sila e. :"> Haha! :)) Sa Christmas Party, ihhug ko ng bongga yang dalawang yan. ♥ Super salamat Kate & Kateri. Mabasa niyo man 'to o hindi, alam ko God will make a way para malaman niyo 'tong kadramahan ko. Sorry kung pinainis ko man kayo or pinalungkot, ganito talaga ako e. Lokaret. Sala sa init, sala sa lamig. Di ko talaga ineexpect na in the end, kayo pa talaga yung mananatiling nandyan para sakin. Mahal ko kayo, sagad-sagad. >:D< :*

"Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest. It's about who came and NEVER left your side."

^ This is the best way for me to cope with my problems. Let go and let God. O:)